Jar of Hearts
by AnHeiressofaSOLDIER
Summary: Based off of PMMM Rebellion. She had had every promise to her broken, had been abused, and had always been left alone by her two best friends... Having lost her mind, Kairi tries to selflessly pull Sora out of his rule of being The Key That Connects Everything. Too bad she didn't realize what Sora himself wanted, though, and that she was literally tearing apart who he wanted to be.


**Jar of Hearts**

Kairi had been acting... weird, Sora thought reluctantly to himself.

Ever since they'd come home from miraculously defeating Xehanort, he had hoped that things would go back to normal between them. Or as normal as things could hope to be after everything they'd been through, anyway, but Kairi seemed out of focus somehow.

It was more than a little disconcerting-even if Sora had noticed Kairi's sanity starting to slip some even before.

"So, umm. Yeah, Kai. I'm going to go get some milk from the store for my mom. And then I'm going to go to Agrabah for a quick trip. Nothing too fancy, but I figured I'd better see what sort of political system they're putting up, now that the worlds have been united again. Y'know?"

Okay, so that wasn't completely true. Moreover, Sora was going to use his newly discovered powers to heal the hearts of the hurting people in Agrabah.

As Sora reached out towards Kairi, to where she was standing on the dock, whilst watching the sea-it always seemed as though she was only numbly watching the ocean these days-Sora thought about telling her just this, but something stopped him.

And for whatever reason, Sora had begun to notice that Kairi always seemed hurt when he went on his adventures now. But her sadness wasn't for her sake, Sora knew. Kairi was far too selfless for that. Was it… was it that she thought it was a burden for him, then?

If so, Sora was glad that he had taken ample care to make sure that Kairi had less reason to suffer for him. He'd made certain that most of them were routine missions that his love really wouldn't have to worry about. But even then she still seemed t.

To this end, Sora tried to have as much a normal life with Kairi and everyone else that he could, so that they wouldn't have to be even more uncertain about it all.

He was even back on the Islands, and managing both of his destinies rather effortlessly, if he were to say so himself. It was the best of both words, really, and Sora had never been happier. He just-he just wished that the fire that he'd used to so love in Kairi would come back to her...

"Would you like me to come with you, Sora?" Kairi asked rather emotionlessly, as she never once turned away from the crashing waves that occupied her attention-cutting Sora to the quick for her lack of attention on him, as well as her numb tone.

Swallowing slightly, as he felt about to cry himself-how he hated seeing Kairi hurting, and not being able to do anything about it (and even worse: realizing that it was probably his own fault)-Sora replied as cheerily as he could manage, "Of course, Kairi. What kind of question is that? I've always wanted you by my side, you know? Even back when you used to call me a lazy bum and pretty much verbally abuse me. So do you want to hop to and head in the direction of the general store with me?"

When Sora later looked back on this moment, he would realize how at fault he'd been in not asking Kairi to go to Agrabah with him-in thinking she just wanted to live a normal life without all the traveling-but right now, all he could think about was how to turn Kairi's frown upside down the fastest way that he was able, and seeing as how strawberry milk had always been one of Kairi's greatest joys in life...

As Kairi finally turned to Sora-with a pinched look on her face that wasn't unlike the kind he'd often seen on his school teachers-Sora was about to comment on how tired Kairi looked, and if maybe she'd not been sleeping well lately, when Kairi interrupted him in the form of twiddling her thumbs awkwardly.

Then, sounding much more hesitant than Sora had ever heard her be before (and that was saying something, sadly, seeing as how she'd been acting lately), she said, "Wouldn't I... wouldn't I just be getting in your way?"

Sighing in a resigned fashion, as for whatever reason Kairi decided to look away from him again and instead stare at her feet, Sora said much more angrily than he had intended, "Of course not, Kairi. I want you with me always, okay? Especially- especially after I almost lost you so many times. God, how can you even think I could be without you, when it was you who saved me from being a Heartless and so much more? Really, Kairi!"

The moment the words were out of his mouth, Sora instantly regretted them. He should have been building Kairi up, but instead he was knocking her down. And Lord knew that she was having enough confidence problems as of late.

As if in agreement with him, the sun chose that moment to peak out from within the clouds and to shine down on Sora with a vengeance. It was as if it was torturing him for how he'd made Kairi jump sacredly for his tone. And for that, Sora knew he deserved burning and much much more.

It was only now that he was seeing how this entire moment was similar to that time he had told Kairi she'd be in his way in the secret cavern. Back then, she'd been biting on her lip so thoroughly, that Sora thought she might rip it off.

And now... well, it almost seemed as though she'd ripped all of her emotions out even moreso. And things had been going so well between them when they'd been battling Xehanort… What the heck could have happened to make Kairi this shell of her former self?

"I..." Sora started awkwardly, as he moved to reach for Kairi again, but stopped midway when he remembered just how he'd frightened her.

Moving to dust his hands on his pant legs, then-so to try and hint to Kairi that he wasn't going to hurt her with her touch, or anything like that-Sora quickly went over what he wanted to do in his head. And settling on the only thing he really could've and should've been doing-that really he should have enacted a long time ago-Sora gently reached his hands out to caress Kairi's shoulders.

Then, brushing her hair out of her face, Sora told her: "I love you, Kairi. I always have and I know that I always will. So please stop doubting that. And please stop doubting yourself. I really shouldn't have snapped at you. And I really should have taken you with me all of those times. I realize that now, so..."

Ugh. Well, what he was saying was definitely a train wreck, wasn't it? It was funny that even though he'd always been in love with the fetching redhead before him-enough to even want to share a paopu with her -Sora had never actually thought that he would work up the courage to tell her that.

And now that he somehow actually had... it wasn't anything like he had wanted it to be. He was telling her it out of necessity more than anything else, for one thing. And Sora could barely believe his own words when it came out so awkwardly and matter-of-factly. It was like he was reading from a grocery list or something, instead of detailing to the most important person to him why he cared about her so much.

But what was worst of all: was that Sora doubted that Kairi was any real place that she could even hear him.

And showing that his nightmarish thoughts had much more substance to them than he would have ever liked them to, Kairi pulled away from Sora with tears streaming down her face, as she stammered, "You- you shouldn't love me, though! I'm- I'm useless to you and your plight. I'm nothing. Absolutely nothing! It must have been a mistake, or a lie, when Yen Sid said that the Princesses of Heart are the new Kingdom Hearts. There's no way I could hold anything like the worlds up. I can't even be a Princess of Heart. I can't-"

They were making a spectacle of themselves, Sora realized suddenly, as he noted that it was after five and that therefore the Play Island was being opened as a tourist attraction now, so that people from the other worlds could come and see the home of the heroes of the multiverse.

As the boardwalk filled up with people, Sora noted some pedestrians-girls, mostly-giving Kairi dirty looks as she continued to cry and Sora tried his best to comfort her.

Though the brunette really wished he didn't know what they were probably thinking, the fact was he'd read far too many tabloids, so he knew exactly what must have been haunting Kairi's dreams and making her more insane than even her trauma had.

The fact that all of their "fans" had been dubbing Kairi as useless, and a waste of space, and insinuating that Sora and Riku should have left her long ago for some better assistance—or for one of their "number one fans".

Kairi... Kairi had always had insecurity issues; Sora remembered this all too well from some of their times together as kids, and as well as from Naminé and Xion's personalities. But after having been subjected to such emotional abuse, it seemed as though that had been taken up to eleven.

If only... if only there was something he could do to make her feel better and quell all the hate towards her, Sora thought regretfully. Unfortunately, he didn't even think his new power could even accomplish better thoughts in the people around him; some people were just too close-minded for that. It was a wonder that none of the hearts that held such hatred for Kairi hadn't given away to Darkness yet, Sora thought bitterly.

"Kairi, don't listen to what all of those jealous people are saying about you, baby," Sora threw the new endearment out there to see if it might lift the girl's self-esteem any, and let her know that he meant it when he said he loved her. "I love you, Riku loves you, Donald and Goofy and Naminé and Xion... all of the friends we've met love you, and for good reason. Everyone here... everyone here is just unknowing or unthankful about how you've sustained them for so long.

"And if it hurts you that much... don't even think about it all. Let's pretend it never happened and go back to how we were. On days like this, I'd much rather throw everything away and live in the past, you know? It's all just so... wearying."

Sometime, in the far future, Sora would also realize what his having said such a thing would later bring about… And he would come to regret it.

Now, though, he could only bask in the stray tears that fell from Kairi's eyes that were much less cumbersome than her last ones, so that was a step in the right direction, at least. Using his new super powers, Sora was able to tell that these tears she was now crying were rejuvenating ones, so… Maybe... maybe she'd be okay, then, after all?

"I... I'm sorry for keeping you," Kairi said at once, as she brushed some of her stray tears away and seemed to do the impossible-smiled at Sora the kind of cheeky look that he'd once cherished in her younger and tomboy self.

Maybe she had done what he'd suggested then, and had opted to imagine things like they had been before, Sora thought. And if that was what it was going to take to make her better, Sora couldn't at all knock her for wanting to escape reality. In fact, if it meant he could have his old Kairi back, he was beyond happy.

"You should go get the milk yourself now; quickly, though. That way you can hurry up and do your thing in Agrabah and come back to me, lazy bum. We have a lot to catch up on, right? If I went you, I'd just slow you down. But that's what you get for being short and having stubby little legs, I suppose."

"Right!" Sora agreed with a laugh, as he pulled Kairi into his arms ecstatically and kissed her on the forehead, before moving on to quickly peck her on her lips in what would be their first kiss-completely ignoring the fact that Kairi was putting on a brave face on for him, like she so often did, and had even insulted herself even moreso in her attempt to be snarky, like he wanted her to.

"Thank you so much, for giving me that leave, m'lady. I'm going to go take care of things really fast, and then I'll be getting back to you. I promise."

As Kairi enveloped her bottom lip with her top one, so that Sora couldn't tell that this scene was exactly like the one they'd had before he'd gone chasing Ansem-and that she was falling apart at the seams-she choked out roughly and quickly, "I know you will." And then watched as Sora disappeared before her-enacting his Keyblade armor and Glider, Kairi assumed.

And she supposed if she hadn't even been able to tell that, she really was a failure—For that alone, Kairi found herself wanting to end her own life, but she didn't for one reason: Sora had told her not to.

And if any part of her had survived through all of Xehanort's schemes, it was that Kairi would always listen to her brave Sora. Even if her reactions were more slave like now than anything else. She'd promised him that she'd wait for him, so wait for him she would.

Even when... even when the people who wrote bad things about her in the tabloids ganged up on her to torture her.

...

Sora was feeling pretty good about himself, as he flew the gummi ship towards home in record time, and relished in the Light he sensed coming from Agrabah even with miles and miles between him and the place.

As it was, Aladdin and Jasmine were always happy to see him, and it turned out that that was all they'd really needed in order to be restored again.

Feeling extremely happy for that, Sora turned his thoughts towards Kairi-as Donald and Goofy played tic-tac-toe behind him, and Riku kept a keen eye on any enemy ships coming their way (though Sora wasn't really worried, since the number of Heartless had been far lessened after everything that had happened).

"Hey, Sora," Riku commented, as he took his hand off the lasers, so as to take a bite of his had-been-neglected-sandwich. "Why is it that you didn't bring Kairi along with you? Don't you think she would have liked to come with us?"

Searching his best friend's eyes for any hints that he was as worried about the ginger as he himself had been, Sora reclined in his seat a little bit before replying, "To tell the truth, I did mean to bring Kai on this trip with us. But I was so caught off-guard from everything that I forgot to ask. Hehe," Sora finished off, by rubbing the back of his head in an embarrassed motion.

As he did so, Sora noted that Riku's eyes had adopted an inquisitive air to them and that Donald and Goofy had quieted down from their own conversation completely.

"Look!" Sora defended, as he threw his hands up into the air, all the while wishing he could give Kairi something that would allow her to defend her self and heart better. "I know I messed up in forgetting to even ask her, but I don't know: I just think that Kairi prefers to have a normal life, to be honest. And I'm sure she also realizes that it would've been overkill to bring her along, seeing as how we have Eraqus' pupils constantly patrolling the Lanes Between now, and even Roxas and his friends on occasion."

Sora was careful not to mention Naminé in that sentence. While it was true that she was probably the person most invested in maintaining the peace between the worlds—and one of Sora's very best friends, of course-he thought it would somehow be a betrayal to Kairi if he said as much, which... was sort of ridiculous, since she wasn't even there with them.

"Umm... Sora?" Goofy said as gently as ever, upon raising a hand into the air to indicate that he had a question. Nodding at Goofy to go-ahead-though the last thing he really wanted to do was talk about his love life-Sora quickly switched the system over to autopilot (so that the monitors read blue instead of red), and turned his attention onto the conversation about his would-be-girlfriend. "I think your reasoning might just be a little flawed. Ahyuck! I mean, all Kairi's ever wanted was to be with you, right?"

"I... I guess?" Sora muttered awkwardly, whilst out of the corner of his vision he saw Riku seeming to get upset. And if the Dawn wielder wanted to pick a fight with Sora for being an idiot about Kairi, the brunette knew that he wouldn't have blamed him at all.

How had he- how had he been so stupid as to forget something as important as that? Besides the fact that it was painfully obvious, it was so easy to read in Kairi that that had always been what she wanted most of all. In fact, Goofy had even commented on it back in Halloween Town a couple of years ago, hadn't he?

How could he- how could he have forgotten so quickly? Sora demanded of himself. And... his not asking Kairi to come along must really had to have been a slap in the face to her, huh? Pulling out Kairi's tattered lucky charm from his pocket and looking at it for just a moment, Sora wondered if the last time Kairi had given it to him-and hadn't asked for it back-was because she'd thought he'd never be around to give it back to her, anyway. _Kairi_...

Seeming to echo Sora's sentiments exactly, Riku put a hand on the younger boy's shoulder before gruffly and emotionally saying, "It can't be easy for her, Sora. I honestly think out of all of us Kairi might have just had it the hardest. Especially after she forgot you the time that everyone did, but somehow held onto your memory so that everyone thought she was crazy for it.

"And she's suffered even moreso because the monstrous teens from our Island are always tearing Kairi down and bullying her. It almost makes me want to-"

"Ack! She must think that everything I ever said to her was a joke, huh?" Sora wailed-slightly starting to become completely undone himself. And though he wanted to look out at the beautiful stars and worlds outside of the ship, if for no other reason than to remember the poem that Kairi had kindly written to him so long ago to get him out of the Realm of Darkness... Sora knew he couldn't award himself that luxury now.

Running a hand over his face, dejected, and wishing that a hole would just open up to swallow him whole, Sora began counting off all his sins on his fingers. "I broke the promise I made you to take care of her, Riku. And I broke my promise about never forgetting her or her lucky charm. I never came back to her-or if I did, it was just so I could leave her again. I certainly didn't keep the oath about being together everyday with her for Roxas and Naminé-or that wherever one of us goes, the other follows. And even the promise I made when we were kids: that I'd always protect her and never make her cry... I upheld that with Naminé but not with Kairi. What- just what's wrong with me? How didn't I realize all of this sooner?"

Honestly, Sora wasn't so much talking to his friends anymore than he was condemning himself. After all, he didn't exactly want his friends to know that he valued everything about Kairi so much more than he did them, but...

And as much as Sora was glad that his friends wanted to comfort him, he knew he didn't deserve it, and so he waved off all of their comforting responses and gestures: his thoughts only on Kairi and getting back home to make everything up to her as fast as he was able.

It was about a half an hour later that Chip and Dale quickly darted out of the engine room and into the main room, looking as anxious as ever and even somewhat heartbroken, Sora wagered.

For a brief moment, the Keyblade wielder wondered if they were out of nuts again and was about to go fish through some of the compartments for more, but then he saw their eyes locked on him and him alone, and somehow… Sora knew just what all of their concern was for. "It's- it's Kairi, isn't it?" Sora asked much more heart broken than Chip and Dale could even dream of being for the current moment, as all of his worst fears came true.

Pulling out his Keyblade, and preparing to hunt down what ever lunatic had hurt the girl he should have been cherishing all along, Sora was about to jump out of the gummi ship (after all, he left the Islands on his Glider before meeting up with the others, so it would probably be more poetic to return to the Princess of Heart that way), but something about Chip's expression stopped him.

"You see, Sora... Our readings indicate that you're going to need your other powers for this. It's not Darkness that's affecting Kairi's heart-at least I think it's not-but rather negativity."

"Cool! I can take care of that. At least... I'm pretty sure that I can. Vanitas' power was of negativity, as well, and as he and I are deeply connected, I'm sure I got some of that ability, as well. I'll see you guys at home, 'kay?"

The words and fake disposition were off of Sora's lips before he could take them back. Idly, he wondered where his cool confidence came from-when in the inside he felt like he was dying-but deciding not to question it, Sora quickly went to where the cargo bay was located at, and after making sure to activate his Keyblade armor and Glider, be began diving down towards Destiny Islands.

And though Sora supposed he should have known better, and should have been thinking about other scenarios instead, he couldn't help but imagine himself kissing Kairi as soon as he reached her. Or maybe being the dashing hero who came just in the knick of time-from a ridiculous height, no less-and swooped in to save the day. Kairi deserved no less, after everything she'd been through. And starting today, Sora knew that he was going to start cherishing his soul mate just as much as she deserved. He'd start with sharing a paopu fruit with her.

And just as that happy thought entered Sora's head, the dark blue and white of space disappeared before him to be replaced first by a light pink sunset, and then the color of sand and more sand. He'd been reaching the Play Island very soon, Sora realized giddily. And no doubt, Kairi would still be there waiting for him.

Rearing up on his Glider some so that he wouldn't crash into her, Sora finally caught a flash of red, and before he even knew it, he had reached where Kairi was, and was clasping hands with her-preparing to heal her heart, and exchange stories about what they'd been doing while they'd been apart.

What he had not been expecting was for tendrils of Darkness to start dancing around him, and for him to finally get a look at Kairi's form to realize that it was battered, broken, and bruised... a pool of blood leaking out of her leg that couldn't have been at all healthy... And nor was Kairi somehow being able to hoist him up into the air like he was nothing, and making it so he couldn't escape her grasp.

This... this couldn't have been Kairi, right? There was no way. Except that Sora could see her tear-streaked and purple (more dark than ever before) eyes: something he'd seen far too many times, and he knew that it was.

"K-k-Kai?" Sora asked uncertainly-and for whatever reason: nervously-as he looked down at the girl below him and tried to summon his Keyblade. "What is this?"

A smile and a giggle on Kairi's part, as the wisps of Darkness-how... how could there be Darkness around Kairi?!-pulled closer to Sora, and locked him in its embrace. And as it did, Sora felt the oddest and most painful sensation, like his heart was being ripped out of him again.

Panicking, as Sora reached the impossible conclusion that someone was either impersonating Kairi or she had somehow, impossibly, let the Darkness in, Sora demanded much more sternly: "What is this, Kairi?!" He felt dizzy and light-headed and confused. Almost as though... parts of himself were going missing. He couldn't make sense of anything, and-

"Why must you always doubt me, Sora?" Kairi asked despairingly, as more tears fell from her eyes and Sora remembered then that he loved this girl and realized how she must have been suffering (and even worse: he realized that everything that was currently happening _was_ her doing). "I'm saving you from your burden. From being the Key that connects everything. That's what you wanted, right?"

Somehow, despite the pain and disorientation and the fact that part of him was being ripped away (something that Sora noted with a surprisingly detached response, as he saw part of himself-a part that had a Key design all over it-resting just behind him), Sora remembered his earlier conversation with Kairi in flashes of light: something that seemed almost ironic now, given what she was doing.

And just like that, Sora realized why she had jumped to the conclusion she had, and how she was doing this. Kairi-though somehow having steeped in Darkness-was a part that made up the new Kingdom Hearts: the entire multiverse, even, so of course it made sense that she had this type of power.

Hastily, Sora tried to tell Kairi that he did enjoy his duty-and though he did want to make better on his promises to her, there had to be a balance to it all-but there was no time, and his brain felt fried, and he himself felt completely groggy. So all he could manage was a desperate, "But it'll all disappear!"

And Sora was desperately worried that it would: depending on how far Kairi went with changing things, and how powerful the Darkness affecting her was, she could very easily change their whole lives. She could even make it so Roxas and them had never been created, or that he and Riku had never been born on the Islands. Heck, what if this even ruined who he was? Sora wondered. Or what if it ruined his and Kairi's bond?

And even though Sora knew that that was the last thing Kairi would have wanted, as she looked away guiltily from his accusatory tone, he knew she would do it for him, anyway.

Suddenly, with a certain clarity, Sora realized that what Kairi was doing wasn't intended to be selfish at all-even if that was how it was turning out to be, because of the Darkness in her-she was trying to be self_less_ and give him what he wanted, no matter what it cost her.

Did that mean... did that mean she was going to leave taking care of the multiverse on her shoulders?

It was too late to ask. He should have handled this and everything else so much differently, Sora knew. He should have figured out what was going on with Kairi and what her intentions were sooner, so he could have swayed her concerns away. But it was all too late.

Sora was far too lost and in pain to hold onto consciousness any longer. Right before he fainted, he noted Kairi's desires moving to take over the whole Island and maybe even more than that. And then he knew nothing.

…

Sora felt… weird. Off, somehow-though he couldn't really say why for sure. Everything was more than fine and more or less exactly the same as it always had been, but… he couldn't shake the feeling that something was terribly, terribly wrong.

He was due to finally be a senior at Destiny High-something Sora had been excited about for a long time, since the small part he'd played in saving the worlds had made him have to be held back a year-but whenever he tried to actually talk about his education and everything… it felt like a lie.

It also seemed to feel slightly acidic on Sora's tongue and made him want to throw up, almost. Maybe… maybe if he went to the Secret Place, as it currently seemed to be calling to him, he could find some answers there?

Deciding that that was the way to go, Sora quickly climbed into his canoe and began paddling out to the Play Island-wishing all the while that Riku was there with him to share in some of the effort. At this rate, Sora knew that he wouldn't be getting to the small islet until nightfall.

It was his fault, really, for waiting so late to make his decision to go out there. But what else could he have done? He had been so busy studying beforehand and yet… had somehow ended up abandoning his work halfway through it to do this?

Sighing to himself, for his weakness and stupidity, Sora promised himself that he'd go over factoring in his head the whole time he sailed out to the kids' island.

And so he did. He looked for sharks every now and again, of course, and that sort of thing, but mostly Sora went over his self-assigned homework: feeling better for it all, but also somewhat numb at the same time.

And when Sora finally did end up at his intended destination-feeling so exhausted that he didn't even tie his boat at the docks, he was so delirious, but rather crashed it into the shore so that he went flying out of the thing on impact-he wondered if maybe he'd made a mistake. After all, he didn't exactly want to look at where Kairi had scratched out the drawing of herself that they had done when they were kids, since-in his mind-everything had been going so well, but…

For whatever reason, Kairi had decided to break up with him. And though that hurt like nothing Sora could have ever imagined, he found that he was almost relieved for it. Maybe it was because she was a Princess of Heart and had such a big destiny that he didn't want to stand in the way of it?

"Oh, uhh… hey there, Riku," Sora shouted to the older boy who had just chosen that moment to run past him, as if the hounds of hell themselves were after him.

Idly, Sora had to wonder if it was for him that Riku was purposefully running from (maybe he had a new mission, and didn't want to tell Sora's unskilled self about it, because otherwise he'd insist on coming and get hurt?), or something else entirely.

Though Sora hoped for the ladder, of course, he also got the sense that maybe it would be better if Riku were just irritated at him for whatever reason. Because otherwise... wouldn't it just mean that something disastrous had happened, like the Heartless were back on the Island or something?

Pausing in his jaunt with a surprised set to his face, Riku turned to look at Sora with narrowed eyes. Though if Riku was glaring at him, or just trying to see the torch that Selphie seemed to be carrying off in the distance, Sora didn't know.

He did value the way that the dark blue of the night fell down onto Riku, though, reminding the once Keyblade wielder that Riku was a strong dawn-wielder and probably wasn't as lost in his own mind as Sora himself had felt lately.

"Sora…" Riku began awkwardly, but Sora got the sense it wasn't the type of awkward you sounded when a friend stumbled onto something that you were embarrassed about, but rather when you'd discovered something dangerous and were trying to keep a child away from it.

"I was just- I was just talking about you. Are you headed towards the Secret Place?" Riku asked with another weird look on his face, as his eyes seemed to tear up, as he bit back whatever he might have been trying to convey to Sora.

In response to that, when Sora nodded curiously to his best friend's question, the spiky haired brunette noted that a light seemed to come on in Riku's heart, and it truly showed through his expression. "That's good, Sora. Wonderful, even. Check out the door or window thing, will you? I think you of all people might just be able to discover what's back there."

"Uhh… Will do," Sora supplied awkwardly himself this time, as he scratched his cheek uncertainly, and-almost of its own accord-Sora's body seemed to decide to walk closer to Riku, as if it was trying to figure out what he was getting at, too.

"But, you know, you're acting sort of weird. What? Did Naminé mess with my memories again or something? I mean, c'mon. You don't have to protect me, Riku! I vaguely remember when she tried to, under the Organization's orders, make you her pawn, and how my memory was affected by it, bit it's not the first time I've been witness to weirdness. Or the first time that I've been pulled in by someone else's problems, y'know? Oh…"

When Sora had mentioned the Naminé thing, he'd taken a complete shot in the dark and had mostly been joking. So why was it, then, that Riku's pale white and awestruck face seemed to be painting the fact that that was exactly the sort of thing that was going on? And Riku… Riku seemed like he desperately wanted to say something but was unsure about it.

Narrowing his eyes at Riku this time, Sora crossed his arms over his chest, angrily, before demanding, "Will you just tell me what's-"

"Just don't trust Kairi, Sora. In fact, you should maybe stay away from her entirely, and that's all I'm going to say," Riku explained without _really_ explaining anything, as he stepped away from Sora and wiped his hands on his pants. It was only then that Sora realized that Riku had been crying, and that he had brushed the tears away with his hands.

Kairi… what Riku had said about her had cost him something, Sora realized-just as Riku seemed to meet up with Selphie, Tidus, and Wakka across the way, to do who knew what.

But though Sora definitely appreciated his friend trying to convince him to not be bamboozled by his ex-girlfriend again, he couldn't help but feel that Riku was being too hard on Kairi, maybe. Maybe it was just his left-over feelings for her talking, but…

"Yep. I'm definitely losing my mind," Sora said cheerily to himself, as he plastered on a smile, and doodled a Keyblade onto his arm with the ink he'd gotten onto his fingers from changing toner in his printer earlier. "Well, to the cave I go, I guess… And if I didn't know any better, I'd say I was talking to Riku's Nobody, Roxas, like he often does right now. Ugh."

Not wasting anymore time, Sora set off to do what he'd intended to all along, and finally headed over to the opening that led into the Secret Place. He didn't exactly go the traditional way, though. While it was true that he, of course, climbed onto the embankment that Wakka always stood in front of that led directly into the place, Sora had been hit with a sudden urge to stand atop the barrels littered there and to jump from them to get into his designated area.

Unfortunately for him, though, his weight seemed to be too much for the little jar, and thus it splintered and broke the moment Sora's feet touched it. But fortunately, as Sora fell down and hastily got to his feet, he seemed to… he seemed to remember something. Had he- had he used to destroy barrels with his toy sword or something? He knew he hadn't had the Keyblade that long so as to destroy them that way, right?

Deciding that was a stupid question and better saved for later, Sora quickly shook his head to get rid of his thought, and finally ducked into the hole that led to his and Riku's former place-ducking down as low as he could, but feeling as though spiders had gotten into his hair despite his efforts against that.

After that, it was a fast and easy descent into the mouth of the cave-Sora mostly stretching his legs out and leaping most of the way, so as to get there faster.

In fact, the only thing that really did end up tripping Sora up and slowing him down was when he saw, despite the odds, Kairi sitting right in front of where she'd crossed out the image of her sharing the paopu with Sora: the white scratches she had caused against the gray backdrop of the wall being really apparent, even as far away as he currently was.

For just a moment, Sora thought about quickly leaving the space before Kairi noticed him-as he knew it would probably save them both some pain and hopefully make him hold off on remembering that this place had once been theirs-but he found he just couldn't do it.

As much as he wished he didn't, Sora knew that he was still head-over-heels in love with Kairi, and that he probably always would be, so seeing her sitting there, so depressed and defeated, made him immediately want to try and comfort her.

Even if she was oddly giving him the bad vibe he'd gotten earlier while thinking about school. Suddenly, his chest felt very tight. Still, he _would_ persevere.

"Y'know Kairi, some people might think that you're crazy for defacing an image of yourself. Why don't you come away from there and just do something fun with me? What do you say?"

To her credit, Kairi did seem surprised to see him, which was good. For a moment there, Sora had worried that she was playing a game to get back at him for whatever it was he must have done to upset her before.

But even though she did look innocent for the most part, she definitely looked far from sane. As it happened, it looked as though she was drawing something in the mulch over and over again with her hands.

And though Sora knew he could have been imagining some of the red he saw there and on her fingertips-as it was really dark out and hard to tell for sure-he knew that he wasn't. He was just about to go over there and try to heft her up and take her to rehab if he needed to, but her voice stopped him.

"Don't lie to me, Sora. I know… I know Riku told you to come here and look at the door. That's why you're really here. I know that as much as I know you'll do exactly what he says. But I ask you this, Sora: do you remember the Keyblade War? Do you remember the blood shed and the friends we lost because of Xehanort's devices?"

"I… I guess I do, Kairi. Vaguely. But I didn't really do much in said War. But what does that have to do with anything?" Sora asked uncertainly-and despite himself, frightened-as Kairi looked into his eyes with unimaginable pain in her gaze, and seemed to be searching him over for a lie. A lie he wouldn't tell even if he had one.

Why on earth was the pillar of their world looking at him like this? Sora wondered. It was as if she thought he had played a bigger part than her, and should know more than she herself could.

And come to think of it, Sora had to wonder why he'd even dated the pillar to begin with. Had he really been that selfish as to pull her away from her duties?

"It has to do with that door," Kairi said not angrily, but tired. Very tired sounding. She even made it like it was work for her just to get her voice at a high enough decibel for people to be able to hear her. And because of that, Sora remembered the sweet and vulnerable girl that Kairi had once been and why it was he had loved her. Why he still did, even.

Just what-just what had happened to her and the two of them? Sora wondered. And was it bad that he wanted their old days together back? He swallowed nervously at the thought. Selfish… he was so beyond selfish.

"If you open up that door, you'll be bringing more of that kind of catastrophe to the universe, Sora," Kairi emphasized by casting her arm out, and flicking her hand in the direction of the door. And for one terrible moment, Sora wondered if she was trying to get some of the blood from her hands onto it or something. He was just about to go try and help her, but- "So don't do it. Don't do it okay? My- my l… Otherwise, otherwise-"

"Okay, okay. I won't do it. But can I at least get you home?" And even while Sora was asking the question, he knew that Kairi wouldn't allow him even that. Using some of her powers, she was able to teleport away, the way that save points once had on his teeny, tiny, insignificant adventure.

And as Sora ended up in his bed, laying there with a gasp, he couldn't help thinking just how wrong everything was and felt. Kairi also seemed incredibly different: threatening almost, and though Sora was loath to admit it… it terrified him. In fact, just being around her made him feel complete out of sync.

In the middle of the night, Sora would finally see the truth and the reasons for everything. And… he'd see exactly why it was that he needed to be feeling the way that he was.

…

If you've never randomly woken up in the night, with your head a mess-wondering where you are or what you should be doing, and just feeling all around off-then you're a much luckier person than Sora was that night.

So he'd been having some nightmares as of late-well, not nightmares, per se, as he sensed that the memories themselves were actually good, behind all the nonsense.

And because of that, he woke up wide-awake, gasping, as his heart and mind tried to right and make sense of something that couldn't be fixed.

He almost... he almost felt like a different person somehow, the brunette thought absently as he picked at his sweaty tank top and looked at the alarm clock beside his bed.

It was like... it was like though the world was still moving and life and things were still happening in it (Sora knew this especially since he could hear things out of his window at the very moment), time had somehow stopped for him.

And just like that, Sora was hit with the strangest desire to head towards the secret place and explore there: even though that was what Kairi had told him not to do. And also just like that, almost as if in a trance, Sora quickly got dressed, put on his socks and shoes, snuck out of the house and began rowing out into the night: only stopping when he reached the door to the secret place and noted the Keyhole in it.

Then, summoning a Keyblade to hand-something the brunette hadn't even known he was capable of doing, since he was only supposed to be the delivery boy-he quickly unsealed the lock that was the symbol for the block in his mind, and remembered everything:

Remembered the time that Kairi had flown at him in this very place, and when her heart had gone inside of him, and everything that happened after that. Everything. Even him finding the paopu drawing that she continued.

As tears streamed down Sora's eyes for all that had happened to them and all Kairi had taken away from him, he knew he probably should have just left it all alone. But all the happiness he'd been feeling with his family and friends the past three months had been swept away and revealed to be just fantasy and lies.

And when Riku found him the next day and carried him out into the gummi ship to talk, it was no surprise to Sora at all that all his emotions and remaining strength were a complete wreck.

...

"Riku! She took away all the things I've done-who I'm proud to have become, when it wasn't hers-and stripped it away and made me into something else. Actually, she made this entire world into something else. And... you knew that and didn't tell me? How could you do this to me? How!"

In the back of his mind, of course, Sora knew that it wasn't Riku he was mad at or felt betrayed by at all. It was Kairi. In fact, Riku had only tried to help him the best way he knew how, but somehow Sora found it was easier to be mad at Riku, for taking him from a world he had liked and into another one: leaving Sora at a complete loss on which one to choose. If there was a choice in the matter at all, that was.

Riku's response to Sora's accusations were anything but what Sora would have expected-not that his beliefs were anything to write home about anymore, Sora thought in a resigned manner, as he barely even knew who he was... but he'd still thought he'd known enough about Riku to be able to predict his responses.

Apparently, that wasn't the case. Because pulling back from where he'd reached out towards Sora with a maniacal glint in his eyes, Riku straightened up and said as stoically as possible, "Because if you actually had wanted this-and it would have worked out for everyone else-I would have left it alone. And your reaction just proves that you would have wanted it that way too, Sora.

"To go to war with Kairi over something like this, in the state that she's in... Well, there could only be one outcome, right? And neither one of us want that," Riku explained the last bit, as he choked back tears.

And suddenly then, and with a vengeance, Sora realized exactly what the dawn wielder was getting at, and what the solution he'd found was. And all at once, Sora realized that there was no one else around conversing with them: not because they didn't deem Kairi a major threat, but because they didn't want to be the ones to kill her themselves-even if they could manage to kill a part of Kingdom Hearts, who had now even usurped Sora's rule.

"N-no!" Sora spluttered, as he fought the urge to summon a Keyblade-no. Not just a Keyblade. His Keyblade, right? The reason for all of his current troubles-and to beat Riku to a pulp with it, so that he wouldn't go anywhere near Kairi.

Fighting against that outcome, though, Sora stepped as close to the cargo bay as he was able-preparing to jump out of it the moment he really wanted to attack Riku came into fruition-and with clenched fists he said, "I won't kill Kairi, Riku. And I won't allow anyone else to try! All she wanted was to give me a happy life with no burdens. Even if she went about it all wrong, how can we condemn her for that? How?! This is Kairi we're talking about: the girl who I learned how to fish for. The girl who convinced us to wear skirts one time so we'd know what it was like to be a girl for a day. Hell, the girl we both went to the ends of the earth to save, so..."

"Damnit, Sora! I love her too, okay?! I always have! But she- she isn't Kairi anymore! In fact, she's so powerful that the only one who could hope to defeat her is you, since she stole your rule. You fighting her is the only way we can revert this, because otherwise her Darkness is going to poison the world and make it go bye-bye, Sora, and..."

Riku... he looked and sounded completely defeated, Sora noted numbly, as he looked at his once best friend in contempt. It was like someone had had to drag the words out of him with a shovel-each scoop tearing apart his throat and esophagus even moreso, until he was the crying, quivering man that Sora now saw before him.

And if Riku really was like this because of Kairi of all people, maybe she really needed to be stopped. Not killed... Just stopped.

Opening the exit door reluctantly, and opting to jump from the ship and find Kairi, so as to set right what once had gone wrong, Sora turned to Riku with a small smile on his face. "We got... we got too complacent in killing villains as an answer, Riku. And too complacent in leaving Kairi to her own devices without even realizing how much she'd suffered. This is- this is our punishment for that. Know that if I have to kill her, I'll do it. But only as a last resort. I'm done with killing people after today... Kairi- Kairi got that idea right in her world, at least."

Even as he said what he had and made his leave, Sora got the sense that it all was just one gigantic lie, and that soon he wouldn't only be crying for the countless lives he'd bled before, but also for making Kairi lose hers too soon in every meaning of the word.

...

If Sora had expected Kairi to look like some sort of genius overlord as he approached her at their school, he would have been disappointed.

Instead, the girl sat at a small lunch table and jotted down some notes-her pen being shaped like a Keyblade, which reminded Sora in its existence that Kairi bore all of his burdens in the current world, and she was no doubt about ready to go kill some Heartless, as her mad eyes looked throughout the world around her… looking for him, maybe?

As if echoing that thought, the moment that Kairi saw Sora, she immediately brightened up for a moment, but she was quick to put on her façade again. "S-s-sora. What are you doing approaching me? I broke up with you remember, and I-"

Unbidden, in the back of Sora's mind, memories of another conversation with Kairi—where she'd worn the same expression on her face as she did now—came flooding back into his mind. _It was really brave of you to save Riku even after he'd fallen into Darkness, Sora. And even more amazing in that Riku was able to break free from it all. I don't know… I don't know if I would have been able to do that if I'd been in his shoes. In fact, I might have actually wanted to die instead, so that I wouldn't hurt you guys, whilst I screamed out in desperation behind that curtain of Darkness._

Digging his nails into his palms so sharply that his hands bled as red as Kairi's hair, the Keyblade master felt as though he was going to be sick. Why the hell did he have to remember that conversation now of all times?

And if the entire situation hadn't been enough to make Sora somewhat sympathetic to Kairi's plight before, knowing full well that she was willingly being away from the person she loved so that she could maintain his happiness would have made his heart melt for her instantly. Even more than it all ready was, in seeing that people were _still_ giving Kairi hateful stares despite everything.

As gently as he could, as Sora was starting to realize how unhinged and off Kairi's world was via her mental state and own self-loathing, the boy quickly reached his hand out to her. And then, with a small smile: "I remember everything now, Kairi. Okay? But let's not get hung up on the specifics of that. Why don't you just put everything back the way it wa-"

"I... I can't!" Kairi said at once, as she hastily got up from her seat-making it spill over in the process, and looking to all the world like she was a scared little girl, as she clutched her heart desperately. "The- the voices in my head, you see. Some of them tell me you're being truthful and enjoy your hard work and want it back, whilst... others tell me you're being selfless and hurting yourself with it all. Until I- until I trust myself more, I can't let you go, Sora. I'm sorry!"

Who would have ever thought that someone could injure another through selflessness of all things? It shouldn't have been possible, Sora thought with a frown gracing his features. And how could unselfishness even be labeled as something Dark? It made no sense!

Kairi as she was now was a complete conundrum and she even seemed lost within herself, and… the fact that she seemed to be raising her hands up to ward Sora off if it came down to it spoke volumes, didn't it?

This… this really wasn't Kairi, was it? Kairi- The Kairi that Sora had known and loved couldn't possibly have wanted this. Everything she was currently doing even seemed to be a mockery to who she'd been and had wanted to be, so… what the hell was he supposed to do now?

As it happened, as Sora tried his best to keep his thoughts and emotions in check, he figured he might very well have been becoming every bit as unhinged as Kairi herself was.

"Tch. About what I would expect from someone who was so wound in Darkness, that they couldn't even see that in 'helping me' they programmed me to do things like love the classes in school that I usually hated. Just let this whole thing go, Kai, and try to find _you_ again, okay? You're being ridiculous. You don't know enough about me to know what my perfect world would be. Nor do you understand I was completely fine with making sacrifices when needed. So, please. Let this all go, Kai. Please."

Though Sora had completely lost his cool through most of that speech, and was actually shaking Kairi's shoulders like Riku had seemed to want to his earlier, Sora's demeanor completely changed when he noted the Darkness and maliciousness in Kairi's eyes. And at that point, he'd gone from angry to begging and then to tragic in such a short moment of time that it should have been impossible.

If Kairi was actually moving to attack him now-and the way she summoned her Keyblade to hand, just when lightning would glint off of it, definitely seemed to me that she was about to-that meant that... that Riku had been right, hadn't he?

The girl that Sora loved was now completely gone. And the only thing left to do was to set her free, the way that Sora himself would have wanted to be let go of, if the situations were reversed.

Even her act of loving him the way she was in the current world was more of a default mechanism of hers than actual love. And… love not freely given wasn't really love at all, was it?

When was even the last time he'd had her true love? Sora wondered, as he began reaching out to Kairi's hand despite himself, as he bit back tears and a scream.

_Sora, what do you think a stream is exactly?_

_It's previous, flawed thoughts of someone's that had to trickle away from them, I've always thought. It meshes itself with a larger body of water and only then can it find new truths and sort out its own past wrongdoings._

Kairi was too far-gone to reason with, and she was poisoning the world so much, that Sora all ready felt as though his own heart was being tarnished by it.

And that was a complete no-go, wasn't it? Because if he was going to do the unthinkable, and- he was going to have to be this world's Key, as well as its new Prince of Heart, when everything was said and done. And to do that, he couldn't have his heart be clouded by Darkness. He couldn't-

For just a moment, as Kairi undoubtedly noted the anguish on Sora's face-and realized that the world she'd created for him wasn't succeeding in making him happy, but quite the opposite-Sora noticed a look in her eyes that he hadn't seen since the night the Island had fallen: she looked resigned, but there was still hope and light and coyness in her eyes.

Kairi had found herself again, just in time for it all to end. And never had Sora's resolved weakened more than it did in that moment. Oh, god. What was he thin- what was he- he couldn-

As Kairi grabbed onto Sora's arm and pulled it up to her forehead, so that his Keyblade was resting against it, she forced herself to speak through everything—blood gurgling from her lips all the while, as she fell out of Sora's arms and the entire world seemed to turn on its axis for him.

"Sora... k- kill me, please. I'm not- I'm not me anymore. I shouldn't be doing this, but I can't stop it... And I don't want... I don't want- Just end this and me, please. I think I've been wanting to die a long time now, and that's why I was always unconscious on so many of your journeys. Sora-"

In cartoons, Sora knew that this all would have gone better. He and Kairi might have been able to share one last kiss or happy feeling or promise with each other before they were forced to say goodbye. But right now, he could all ready see the fight leaving his girl's eyes, and if he didn't kill her soon, Sora knew there would be an all out war between them-in which Kairi would have been hurt even moreso-and Sora couldn't even bare the thought of that at all. Let alone could he-

And so, making a rash decision that he knew he was going to regret for the rest of his life, Sora transformed his Keyblade into a pistol, and he pulled the trigger.

_Sora__,_ the winds gusting around him lamented, as they began to all ready prove that the world was turning back to the way it had been, and into an even rougher one still. _Were you… were you happy at all in my world? Was any of this actually worth it at all?_

And leaning his head against Kairi's—willfully forgetting that she was gone, for all eternity if he had to—Sora gave her his silent answer, as he begun shaking like a leaf. _Yes, Kairi. Oh god, yes. I enjoyed having time with my family and friends so, so much. Even my time with you, though it was just false memories and not the best… I wish I could live it again and again. And I'm_ so _sorry it had to end this way. I'd tell you I'd come back to you and that I love you, but frankly I don't know if I deserve that or if you'd even want to see me again. Oh, Kairi…_

Screaming and crying her name, all the while he cradled her dead body as her haters jeered around them; Sora could feel the weight of worlds pressing onto him, and he longed for not something lighter, but someone leaner in his arms to cherish.

It was all he'd ever wanted when everything was said and done-to have Kairi by his side-and Sora would have liked to believe that maybe someday he could actually earn Kairi like he'd always wanted to. Maybe in the future, he and Kairi would learn to love each other properly again, and find a way into each other's arms that wasn't at the cost of everyone else. Maybe.

Sora would eventually begin to heal, of course, with Riku and everyone else around him-especially since he knew that his happiness was all that Kairi had ever wanted, but it wouldn't be the same. It would never be the same. And Sora would spend the rest of his life trying to find forgiveness for what he'd done, and eventually he would.

And then: _I'm not saying goodbye anymore, because my thalassa charm… you finally brought it back to me, and now we never have to be hurt or apart again, Sora._

_You're right. And now we'll always be together again. Inseparable._

**Author's Note: I'm evil. I know. Buuuuut I couldn't get this idea out of my head, so I just had to write it. And everyone likes a good tragedy now and then, right? Right?**

**Still… I can't believe I did this to my beloved OTP. But then again, they say to be a good writer you have to be able to tear apart your favorite pairing and that sort of thing, and I can't imagine anyone doing that more brutally than I did here, so point for me, I guess?**

**Anyway, many of you are probably wondering where the heck this idea came from. Well, Rebellion, for one thing (and the fact that I knew it'd be pretty easy to put the KH characters into similar roles and situations, as they're all ready sort of alike), but most of all: a fanfiction. **

**A fanfiction I read where Madoka was remorselessly killing Homura post-Rebellion and the fanfic was good and all, but… I couldn't help feeling it was completely OOC and that Madoka would be much more upset about it than that (obviously), and so I wrote my own version of the events, but tried to make it painful and real and go the way that I think it would.**

**And, yes. I did start writing a MadoHomu story with that idea, but… I couldn't finish it. It was much too painful. I might finish it someday, but right now I just can't. It's too close to home, y'know? And as much as I'd like to believe that things will get better for Madokami and Akuma Homura, this is Madoka Magica and Gen Urobuchi we're talking about here, and things might just get a whole hell of a lot worse, but dang it: I'm going to deny that fact for as long as I possibly can!**

**So why could I not write this could-be-canon thing for MadoHomu but was able to write this monstrosity for SoKai, you ask? Because we all know this would never EVER happen in a KH game, and can properly laugh about such a scenario ever occurring (like how OOC Kairi was in this, but she kind of had to be for the story to work; plus, she'd justifiably gone insane in this fic, so she wasn't going to be in her right mind at all), but for MadoHomu… Like I said, it could actually happen with them, so yikes. I don't even want to think about that.**

**ANYWAY, I hope you guys were able to at least somewhat enjoy this story. And I hope I didn't break any of your hearts too badly. Sora and Kairi do find their happy ending together, guys (and if you can't tell by their quotes that I pulled from the actual games and mangas there, they're completely themselves and okay again), but… rest assured I'll probably never do anything like this ever again. This is my favorite series and ultimate OTP, after all. I can only hurt these babies so much.**

**Also, if someone wants to do a fanart for this story, I'd LOVE YOU FOR LIFE. Partially because the idea of a picture where Kairi's ripping Sora out of the "Law of Cycles" err… from being "The Key that Connects Everything" is what really inspired me to give this story a go (yeah, I know; I'm completely evil). But, seriously, if anyone feels inspired to draw that, please do. I'd be beyond happy about it! :D**

**I felt like I meant to say more, but now I forgot. Hmmm…**

**Oh, and if it wasn't clear, the reason Sora had to kill Kairi was because there was really no hope for saving her anymore (not even Sora's superpower could do anything to help), and the Darkness in her heart was poisoning the worlds, as she partly makes up Kingdom Hearts and had even made herself "The Key That Connects Everything", too. And really… she just wanted to die at that point…**

**Shanna outie.**

**P.S. There's a quote from the book "City of Lost Souls" in here, for anyone who knows that series.**

**P.P.S. Sorry if there are many mistakes here, the computer I'm using is crappy and doesn't always let me delete stuff. Plus, this story's just a beast to look through.**


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